Mardi Gras is Upon Us!
Shake those bodies
Eat that king cake
Don’t forget your mask
Whether you’re on a float
Or visiting Bourbon Street
Remember
Isn’t the English Language Grand?
We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
Let’s face it,
English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger;
Neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren’t invented in England.
We take English for granted.
But if we explore its paradoxes,
We find that quicksand can work slowly,
Boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea, nor is it
a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing,
Grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?
Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends,
But not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends
And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught,
Why didn’t preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
What does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be
committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a
wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house
can burn up as it burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
Where did this strange language come from and why do we speak it?
‘Cause we don’t know another, I guess…
~author unknown~
Sweet Day to all!
Let’s Hear About Romance
A very wise woman recently asked me if I preferred romantic ‘things’ or romantic ‘gestures’. I’d never thought of romance in those terms before and it got me thinking. I came down on the side of liking romantic gestures with a huge thud. Diamonds and cars are nice but I want to know my partner’s thoughts by his actions. One of my most romantic stories is PS- I Love You. It’s part of the Ultimate Lesbian Erotica 2009 Anthology. In my story Nancy treks across the country to honor the love of her life. Scenes from their past bring the romance, relationship and love to life for anyone who reads this. What a wonderful, romantic gesture!
You can find out more about PS- I Love You, and my many other stories, on my website:
In honor of love, and romantic gestures, I’d like to give away a print copy of Ultimate Lesbian Erotica 2009. How do I enter? You may ask. Leave me a comment at any or all of the places I’m blogging today. One comment per blog and one entry per comment. In your comment write about the most romantic gesture you’e ever seen, read, or been a part of. I’ll draw from the hat and announce the winner on February 13 at the Midnight Seductions yahoo group:
Here’s a link to all of the places I’ll be posting on February 12th:
My website blog:
Mahalia Levey’s blog:
Midnight Seduction’s blog:
Adriana Kraft’s blog:
Sheila Stewart’s blog:
Ginger Simpson’s blog:
The Midnight Seduction Authors are celebrating romance by hosting these ‘12 Days
of Love’ blogs that you’ve seen all over the internet. We are throwing a huge
all-day-chat bash on February 13, 2010, from 10am EST to 10pm EST. Prizes will
be given away every hour on the hour. Excerpts, recipes, jokes and romance tips
will be posted throughout the day.
Toys, Machines, & Robots- oh MY
There is so much talk these days about sex toys and sex machines. Kind of reminds me of that Sylvester Stallone movie where they had sex without touching. Anyone can have an orgasm these days without the aid of another person. I’m sure we’ve all heard of sex dolls but sex robots? I ran across this article the other day… and all I can say is, where is the male version? : ) (And could I get a coupon or discount on that? $7,000 is ridiculous!) I want one that will clean the house, fix the car and mow the lawn. Maybe then I’ll think about the $7,000.
Adriana Kraft is here to show off her talents
TWELVE DAYS OF LOVE – DAY 8
Midnight Seductions authors are celebrating love and romance with a blog tour for the first twelve days of February and an all day party on February 13 at our Yahoo Group. Have you found all the blogs? Check them out, some are offering prizes! Here’s the list:
Allie K Adams http://alliechat.blogspot.com/ February 1st
Tess MacKall http://bit.ly/cv1cql February 2nd
Beth Wylde http://bethwylde.wordpress.com/ February 3rd
Dee Dawning http://bit.ly/15QpRY February 4th
Savannah Chase http://savannahchase.com/blog/ February 5th
Cassandra Gold http://cassandra-gold.livejournal.com/ February 6th
Cassidy McKay http://sexfunandromance.wordpress.com/ February 7th
Adriana Kraft http://adrianakraft.com/blog/ February 8th
Adrianne Brennan http://adriannebrennan.com/blog/ February 9th
Elizabeth Black http://trishwilson.typepad.com/blog February 10th
Mary Suzanne http://www.Mary-Suzanne.blogspot.com February 11th
Kissa Starling www.kissastarling.com/blog February 12th
I’m pumped because I’m celebrating February with three new releases! Here are quick promos and excerpt links for two of them, then an excerpt from the third.
Meghan’s Playhouse 1 & 2 
SEDUCING CAT [MEGHAN'S PLAYHOUSE Book 1]: Level headed English Professor Caitlin Shanahan has finally earned tenure and purchased the century-old house of her dreams—at thirty-four, she’d better face facts: her future is teaching college and writing plays, not falling in love. So why is she so drawn to foxy little hometown actress Meghan Keenan, who’s rented her upstairs apartment, or worse, to the girl’s gorgeous hunk of a lover Kurt Davis, a brash carpenter who’s never even been to college?
Twenty year old Meg has a plan. First she’ll seduce the reluctant professor; then she’ll share her sexual delights with both Cat and her brawny carpenter, and when she’s successfully brought them together, she can make her escape and explore what’s beyond the only town she’s ever lived in.
Kurt can’t stand the up-tight professor who’s hired him to build a gazebo and refurbish her old house—the house he wanted for himself. Even if Meg succeeds, he knows Caitlin would never look at him twice. No need to go there in his fantasies…
A WOMAN FOR ZACHARY [MEGHAN'S PLAYHOUSE Book 2]: Zachary Cullen has ignored Josette Patrice’s overtures for years, but she agrees to take on his latest protégé-slash-arm-candy Meghan Keenan in her off-Broadway workshop theater. Though the girl has incredible talent, Josie would stake her reputation on that little thing being a switch-hitter, like herself, and she doesn’t want Zach to be duped. Josie sets out to seduce Meg and expose her for what she is, but all bets are off when Meg turns the tables on Josie by hooking her up with Zach.
READ SEDUCING CAT BOOK REVIEWS & SAMPLE CHAPTER
READ A WOMAN FOR ZACHARY BOOK REVIEWS & SAMPLE CHAPTER
To Love and To Cherish 
To Love and To Cherish: Together with fellow authors from Sapphic Planet, I’m part of an anthology of lesbian love stories being published this month by LoveYouDivine Alterotica. The fourteen stories will be released over first two weeks of February, first as a series of three e-books, and in print as a single volume on Valentine’s Day. All profits from this collection will go to benefit Marriage Equality USA.
Our story, “Embracing the Fire,” is in volume three, Lives and Wives, releasing as an e-book on Friday February 12. Here’s a blurb and a link to an excerpt to whet your appetite – come join me at Midnight Seductions Yahoo Group Saturday February 13 for a chance to win an autographed print copy of the entire collection! And be sure to check out Lara Zielinsky’s radio show “Readings in Lesbian & Bisexual Women’s Fiction” for a 2 hour launch special for the complete anthology, in print, on February 14, 2010. Both halves of Adriana will be there, and I’ll be reading an excerpt from “Embracing the Fire!”
BLURB:
The deep chill of a Vermont winter will require lots of firewood, so canoe and wilderness guide Brandy Latham welcomes the help of her best friend, Stephanie Watkins. Together they saw, split and stack as they’ve done for many years – but what will happen when new fires ignite between them?
The Cougar Book
My third February release is the long awaited Cougar anthology from Logical Lust, edited by Jolie du Pre. Our short story, “A Taste of Ginger,” offers an incredible night of decadence and sensuality for our newly divorced heroine.
The Cougar Book 
EXCERPT
“There’s a handsome young man checking you out!”
“Where?” Ginger Nelson didn’t dare look around the sweeping bar to where Annette James pointedly stared. It wasn’t Ginger’s idea to come to this swingers club—that was Annette’s doing.
Apparently it was one of Annette’s frequent weekend haunts. Ginger thought she knew her co-worker better than that, but they hadn’t really started doing things together socially until recently, after her divorce. This was why she’d agreed to this crazy idea in the first place. Today marked the final divorce decree. She was a free woman again—at fifty-five.
“Don’t be so uptight,” Annette cautioned. “He’s a hunk and he’s really looking you over.”
“He’s probably looking at you,” she groused, staring into her wineglass.
Annette giggled. “No way. He doesn’t even know I’m here. You could at least peek at him. That’s why we’re here, to look at the guys.”
“That may be why you’re here.” Ginger groaned. “I know. I know you didn’t force me to come with you tonight. But—but this is different than I expected. The music is too loud. People are making out right by the bar. They’re all so young. And I feel so old.” She tried not to wail.
“Nonsense! You’re overreacting. There are plenty of people here our age. But don’t dismiss the younger guys so quickly.” Annette squeezed her friend’s elbow. “I bet the guy undressing you at the end of the bar doesn’t have a single gray hair on his body.”
Frowning, Ginger cocked her head sideways enough to peer out the corner of her eye and catch a glimpse of the far end of the curved bar. “I don’t see anyone. I only see a guy with a couple girls draped over him.”
“Exactly. And his eyes are on you. Think of the girls as accessories. They’re no competition—not with you.”
CONTEST
To be entered in a drawing for a free download of Lives and Wives with our short story “Embracing the Fire,” send me an email by February 14 listing all three of my February releases. Send to adrianakraft99 @ yahoo.com (without the spaces).
= love = marriage
I am part of a group of authors who call ourselves Sapphic Planet. There are many great writers in the bunch but the thing that draws us together is the characters we write about- most of them are lesbians in f/f relationships. With all of the debacle about same sex marriage recently we decided to write, and publish, a book of short stories with the anthology title To Love and To Cherish. All of these stories revolve around love, relationships and marriage.
My story, Vegas Vixens 4Ever, was released on February 5, along with a few others as an ebook. On February 14th all of the stories will be compiled into a print anthology. Such exciting times for lesbians across the nation! Here’s a short excerpt from Vegas Vixens 4Ever:
“I got an idea.”
“I don’t like that grin on your face, Eboni Hamilton. Every time you get that look with your crazy eyes, I end up in trouble. My mother has already refused to bail me out of jail again.”
“I know a place that has an endless supply of vodka-tinis. I know a place where we can take our memories of Desiree and Stephanie and throw them away forever. I know a place where we can get ours.”
Tami looked doubtful. “I don’t know, Eboni.”
“C’mon, girl. I know you have some money saved up and I have a credit card. Sometimes you just gotta go with your gut. I’ll make our reservations online. We’ll leave in the morning.”
“Yeah, whatever. You won’t even remember this in the morning.”
They decided to switch the station over to Celebrity Dirt, one of their favorite new shows. Tami lay her head on Eboni’s shoulder and fell fast asleep. Eboni lay a blanket across her. The digital clock on the end table switched from 11:59 to 12:00. Another day minus Desiree, thought Eboni, how will I survive without her? She’d have to stay up most of the night to set things up, but it was well worth it. Her mind was made up…
“Wake up, ho. The plane leaves at three fifteen.”
“Plane? What plane? Just let me sleep.”
“It’s twelve o’clock now. I packed you a bag. Anything else you need you can buy there.”
“Where are we going?”
“Vegas, baby.”
Order e-books today from: www.loveyoudivine.com
Print available at Amazon, B&N, and all fine bookstores.
Proceeds from the sales of this anthology benefit the non-profit organization Marriage Equality
USA. The authors, editors, and publisher are not associated with MEUSA, but wished to support
their work with this contribution.
Dalia Craig has the next stop on the Sapphic Planet blog tour. Visit her here.
Lillian Feisty is having a contest
Go visit her blog to win an awesome prize!!!
I’ve already entered~
Southern Charm
Two well-dressed ladies happened to start up a
conversation during an endless wait in the LA airport.
The first lady was an arrogant California
woman married to a wealthy man.
The second was a well mannered
elderly woman from the South.
When the conversation centered on whether they
had any children, the California woman started
by saying, “When my first child was born, my
husband built a beautiful mansion for me.”
The lady from the South commented,
“Well, isn’t that precious?”
The first woman continued, “When my second child was
born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz. . ”
Again, the lady from the South commented,
“Well, isn’t that precious?”
The first woman continued boasting, “Then, when
my third child was born, my husband bought
me this exquisite diamond bracelet.
Yet again, the Southern lady commented,
“Well, isn’t that precious?”
The first woman then asked her companion, “What did
your husband buy for you when you had your first child?”
“My husband sent me to charm school,”
declared the Southern lady.
“Charm school?” the first woman cried,
“Oh, my God! What on earth for?”
The Southern lady responded, “Well for example,
instead of saying “Who gives a shit?” I learned
to say, “Well, isn’t that precious”…
Freebies for Readers
Sensis condoms:
http://www.sensiscondoms.com/sample-sensis.html
Kerasal foot ointment:
http://www.kerasal.com/samples.shtml
Poster- 14 signs of autism:
http://www.fhautism.com/AboutUs/tabid/67/Default.aspx
Avery shipping labels:
http://averydennison.rsys3.net/servlet/website/ResponseForm?HOLkREvMMLk_bgmLkgLmzopiipgnEHspJLpgPFtlgDJht
smokeless tabacco:
http://www.generalsnus.com/
Crock pot recipe book:
http://www.recipelion.com/Crock-Pot-Recipes/33-Hearty-Crock-Pot-Recipes-eCookbook
Poptarts for Mom:
http://www.poptarts.com/moms/RegisterInsider.aspx?p=web
(I joined this a while back and have gotten several things since)
Grilling Guide book:
http://www.lobels.com/store/main/gguide_orderform.asp
Join the Tide development team:
http://www.crm-metrix.com/pgworld/tidesc08/cscreen.asp
Free mocha drink at McDonalds every Wed:
http://www.mcdonalds.com/
(And beginning Jan 15th- free Wifi at McDonalds, whoo hoo)
Green apple avalanche sample:
http://www.universalnutrition.com/torrent/index.cfm
Enjoy!
I try to post freebies, such as these, at Kissa’s Karma Korner several times a week. If you’re interested in joining follow this link:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/kissaskarmakorner/join
